Out of Office, Out of Touch

I had banked my days off throughout 2016 to ensure I would be able to take time away from work to be with family for Christmas. Perhaps you did something similar. But have you noticed the conventional out-of-office auto-response most corporate types have plastered across their inboxes these days?

“I’m out of the office to be with family. Seasons Greetings!” (Um, you’re missing an apostrophe there, bub, not to split hairs.)

“I will return from holiday on 3 January.” (Just like a summer road trip, huh?)

“I will be out of the office until after the new year.” (Good luck not being bored to death! Obviously nothing special going on.)

We’ve reached a day and age where it has–for bloody stupid reason–become necessary for a subset of the populace to emblazon their name badges with the pronouns they want you to use when addressing them. So, I have opted to take my holy day back–check your OED if you are language-confused, the word “holiday” comes from “holy day”–and so I have configured my out-of-office email to proclaim that I took time away from work to celebrate Christmas with my family. It was a simple gesture, and it didn’t take me any longer to type it out than would have any other message. But if somebody can “recognize the plight” of the sub-1% fraction of society that wants to go by “zhe”, then I can echo the loving message of the vast plurality of the population that celebrates a “Merry Christmas”! They will not relegate my holy day to obscurity!

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Nothing about my greeting, by the way, in any way slights my Jewish colleagues and friends, or any email recipients who celebrate differently than I do. The cockamamie pronouns, on the other hand, are just the extreme left’s latest middle finger raised toward mainstream society. 99.999% of Americans don’t give a flying flap-of-skin what gender you perceive yourself to be. Biology says there’s a male and a female. Pick one. We’ll use pronouns accordingly. Then choose to get on with your life and make a productive contribution to society, would you?

The pronoun malarkey typifies the divisive rhetoric of 2016, doesn’t it? “My cause,” it surreptitiously proclaims, “is far more important that physics, biology, or societal norms. Oh, and you can just forget about your cause!” So many of the wedge issues of the year past took this form, that is, to pick a miniscule minority with some perceived slight, to blow the issue grossly out of proportion and turn it into a crisis, and to slather that slime all over the media-addled eyes of the general public.

And then November 8th rolled around and the world changed.

51.8% of the people who cast a ballot wanted a candidate other than Hillary Clinton, and some significant portion of the remaining 48.2% simply bought into the bogus rhetoric propping up one of the most undesirable and unpopular candidates in our republic’s history. Oh, yeah, the other most undesirable and unpopular candidate in our republic’s history won.

What did that tell us? That the legacy media tainted the narrative. That’s really it. Look at the coverage that, since the moment Florida broke right, has spewed frothily from the legacy outlets like infectious foam from a rabid coyote’s mouth: The legacy media continues to try with all its remaining might to defecate all over our President-Elect, continues to try with every ounce of effort to keep the narrative tainted. Not that this behavior is new; this time around, the legacy diaper-wetters have simply turned it up a notch or two.

But bear in mind that enough of our society saw through the crap from the legacy TV, print, and web apparatchiks to reject the presumed next-in-line and vote for true, meaningful change.

So my wishes for you in 2017 are that you will stay steadfast in your beliefs; that you will flaunt the insane fringes on both sides of the political spectrum; and that you will continue to ignore Hollywood, the legacy media news phonies from New York, Los Angeles, and Atlanta, and even the legacy local rag that cannot write a worthwhile editorial, let alone one with a whit of logic. And then, hopefully, your shining example will help others to fight the viral malaise the depressed–and depressing–legacy media continues to spread.

Here’s to 2017, my friends!

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