Schitzo-Tucson: Can’t Get Chicken Soup From Chicken Poop


If ever there was a confused urban pathology in the American West, utterly disconnected from reality, it has to be ‘Schitzo-Tucson’.  Let’s recount the ways:

  • It’s a quaint little college town in the Great Southwestern Desert, like Princeton or Chapel Hill; Time Magazinenow calls, one of the “World’s Greatest Places for 2023” (must be smokin’ weed)
  • No, it’s a glitzy enclave for rich, guilt-ridden northeast Liberals & Hollywood types with multiple trophy homes, and multiple college degrees
  • No, it’s a world-class restaurant & dining experience (the great United Nations told us so), in between murders, shoot-outs, and a vast Fentanyl subculture
  • No, it’s a Army town and makes weapons of war for the military-industrial complex (its biggest private industry)
  • No, it’s an emerging tech Mecca (“the next Austin”) on the US-Mexican border
  • No, it’s a cutting-edge arts center, right up there with Santa Fe, Carmel, and Sun Valley
  • No, it’s a cutting-edge music scene, right up there with Austin & Nashville, (another Austin comparison)
  • No, it’s a biotech, biomedical research & spinoff center like San Diego or Boston
  • No, ‘Tucson’is an old Indian name, meaning “Truckstop”, even though its 1.1 million Metro has zero crosstown freeways, and streetscapes right out of the Flintstones
  • No, it’s evil Arizona’s touchie-feelie, Woke capital of boo-hoo victimology, and a beacon of hope & compassion for millions of invading illegals seeking the ‘Big Mooch’ from Uncle Sam
  • No, it’s a safe & secure urban environment for dozens of bloated charitable enterprises that offer that ladder of upward mobility ….in the soft racism of low expectations
  • REALITY: it’s all of these things and totally sh*tty at everyone of ‘em.  And its faux elite are completely delirious on the worst, rot-gut-fetid Kool-aid you ever took a whiff of.   Because they damn sure aren’t effective at anything regarding this urban goulash.

    Time to ‘think basic’ here, guys….Basic-Basic-Basic….tremendous opportunity out there, if you’ll only kick some ass, take names, and toss the local political weenies & their useless codependents to the curb.

    Sellers is a Southpark Republican living in incorporated Oro Valley; his background is federal technology commercialization

    About Opinion By Bill Sellers 89 Articles
    Sellers is a South Park Republican who lives in incorporated Oro Valley. His background is federal tech-transfer commercialization. Contact him at Sellers is also a grad of Clemson's Architecture School and the University of NC School of Business. He was a founding member of the Albuquerque Friday Morning Breakfast Group which elected numerous conservatives. He has lived in the SouthWest & PacNorthWest more than 40 yrs.


    1. BTW – if you want to report on something important ; why are the lines at “Dave’s HOT Chicken” always so long? It’s chicken….

    2. there is one quick easy foolproof solution to all of this for you – LEAVE TOWN ; Problem solved for you sir ; no more dis or dat ain’t like it was back home ; not more the taco’s to hot; the soups to cold, the money not green enough, the sun to prevalent, the golf balls are ‘yellow’ you know what that means! So it is… are you selling out Seller?

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