Schitzo-Tucson: Can’t Get Chicken Soup From Chicken Poop


If ever there was a confused urban pathology in the American West, utterly disconnected from reality, it has to be ‘Schitzo-Tucson’.  Let’s recount the ways:

  • It’s a quaint little college town in the Great Southwestern Desert, like Princeton or Chapel Hill; Time Magazinenow calls, one of the “World’s Greatest Places for 2023” (must be smokin’ weed)
  • No, it’s a glitzy enclave for rich, guilt-ridden northeast Liberals & Hollywood types with multiple trophy homes, and multiple college degrees
  • No, it’s a world-class restaurant & dining experience (the great United Nations told us so), in between murders, shoot-outs, and a vast Fentanyl subculture
  • No, it’s a Army town and makes weapons of war for the military-industrial complex (its biggest private industry)
  • No, it’s an emerging tech Mecca (“the next Austin”) on the US-Mexican border
  • No, it’s a cutting-edge arts center, right up there with Santa Fe, Carmel, and Sun Valley
  • No, it’s a cutting-edge music scene, right up there with Austin & Nashville, (another Austin comparison)
  • No, it’s a biotech, biomedical research & spinoff center like San Diego or Boston
  • No, ‘Tucson’is an old Indian name, meaning “Truckstop”, even though its 1.1 million Metro has zero crosstown freeways, and streetscapes right out of the Flintstones
  • No, it’s evil Arizona’s touchie-feelie, Woke capital of boo-hoo victimology, and a beacon of hope & compassion for millions of invading illegals seeking the ‘Big Mooch’ from Uncle Sam
  • No, it’s a safe & secure urban environment for dozens of bloated charitable enterprises that offer that ladder of upward mobility ….in the soft racism of low expectations
  • REALITY: it’s all of these things and totally sh*tty at everyone of ‘em.  And its faux elite are completely delirious on the worst, rot-gut-fetid Kool-aid you ever took a whiff of.   Because they damn sure aren’t effective at anything regarding this urban goulash.

    Time to ‘think basic’ here, guys….Basic-Basic-Basic….tremendous opportunity out there, if you’ll only kick some ass, take names, and toss the local political weenies & their useless codependents to the curb.

    Sellers is a Southpark Republican living in incorporated Oro Valley; his background is federal technology commercialization

    About Bill Sellers 109 Articles
    Sellers is a South Park Republican who lives in incorporated Oro Valley. His background is federal tech-transfer commercialization. Contact him at Sellers is also a grad of Clemson's Architecture School and the University of NC School of Business. He was a founding member of the Albuquerque Friday Morning Breakfast Group which elected numerous conservatives. He has lived in the SouthWest & PacNorthWest more than 40 yrs.