A Diagnosis of Trump’s Mental Health

Contrary to what some people believe, President Trump doesn’t have Tourette’s Syndrome.

It’s true that he has some of the symptoms, such as repeating words or phrases, spouting insults, and exhibiting attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.  But he doesn’t have any of the other necessary symptoms, such as sudden, intermittent movements or sounds—or what is known as tics.

The bad news is that he has Tariffs Syndrome; that is, a pathological need to apply tariffs willy-nilly.

In the latest manifestation of the syndrome, Trump is putting tariffs on countries that disagree with his goal of taking over Greenland.  Pathological, indeed.

Americans better watch out.  He might put tariffs on them, because the majority of his fellow citizens disagree with him about Greenland.

Actually, he has already done so indirectly, by putting tariffs on many of the products that Americans buy.

Of course, Trump loyalists will defend him and engage in whataboutism, just as Democrat loyalists do the same on behalf of their leaders.

Trump loyalists will ask, What about Biden? They’ll point out that Biden was senile, enfeebled, corrupt, and weak.  Not only that, but as the loyalists also say, Biden liked to sniff women’s hair, started the practice of going after political enemies through lawfare, and allowed 10 million Vandals into America to pillage, plunder, rape and murder.

On a related note, my wife and I recently allowed three guys of Mexican descent into our Tucson house to replace the water heater.  They didn’t pillage, plunder, rape or murder.  As with the scores of tradesmen of Mexican descent who have done work at our Arizona homes over the years, they were industrious, polite, professional, fun to converse with, and family men.

Eight years ago, a Mexican tile setter replaced the floor tiles in our house.  He reminded me of my first-generation Italian dad, who was also a tile setter.  Eduardo and Dad had different preferences in food and music, but both of them were off-white in color, had similar aspirations for their families, and, being bilingual, were able to speak fluently in English and the language of their ancestral homeland.

Granted, some Mexican migrants, legal or not, do commit crimes, just as the Italian Mafia did.  In fact, as police departments know, many young, single males cross the southern border without their families and join a gang as a pseudo family, after completing the initiation rites of getting gang tattoos and committing a felony.

These anecdotes suggest that the left is partly right about the upsides of immigration, and the right is partly right about the downsides.  Maybe they should get their parts together and reach a compromise on an immigration policy that is reasonable, orderly, and mutually beneficial—you know, like the US political system was designed to operate.

I digressed.  Let’s return to whataboutism.

Whataboutism doesn’t negate the fact that Trump has Tariffs Syndrome.  Trump loyalists who shift the conversation to Biden’s dysfunctions are like the patient in the following fictional dialogue with a doctor.

Doctor:  All the test results have come back, and they clearly show that you have bleeding ulcers.

Patient:  That’s not anything to worry about.

Doctor:  Why do you say that?

Patient:  Because my neighbor Joe has a pacemaker and has had two open-heart surgeries.  What about him?

Doctor:  Joe’s condition has nothing to do with your condition.

Speaking of maladies, do I have Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS)?  No, but I do have KNDS (Kristi Noem Derangement Syndrome).

Something is not right with that woman.  A powerful woman in a big job doesn’t have to be plain looking, but the flowing locks, glamour photos, and diva-like strutting don’t go with the performative wearing of fatigues and a cowboy hat.

She appeared like this at two press conferences on the shooting of Renee Good by ICE agents in Minneapolis.  That probably wasn’t the best way to disabuse the left of their opinion that ICE is a bunch of gunslingers.  Maybe it’s my KNDS, but I think that Noem purposely plays the part of a gunslinger in order to infuriate the left even more and to get them to babble and twitch as if they have Tourette’s Syndrome.

She learned how to drive them nuts from a master, her boss President Trump.

Mr. Cantoni can be reached at [email protected], unless Noem arrests him first.