Pima’s ‘Dark Prince’ Doesn’t Merit His Own Bike Loop

chuck huckelberry
Chuck "Boss Hogg" Huckelberry

From the “Crazy County Government” files in PimaLand.

In what has to be the most politically obsequious piece of boot-licking since Chamberlain gave Adolph Czechoslovakia, the angry wealth destroyers on the Pima County BOS voted in 2018 to give their ‘Master Minion’,  Mr. Charles H. Huckelberry, his own Metro-Tucson  bike loop.

That’s right, it’s his.  Says so, right on the label.

Not bad, huh? Especially for a living, current Pima County employee, who is compensated more than 19X (nineteen times) the miserable per capita income of the City of Tucson.  And he’s been at this 6-figure trough a long, long time, boys & girls…. 46 years to be accurate.

Who says you can’t get rich working as a local Arizona government employee?  And those non-disclosed side deals & fringe benefits must be terrific; maybe we should ask Mossack-Fonseca?   (all of this begs the question: where’s Arizona’s goofball Attorney General, the All-Slavic League’s nunchucks-whiz, Mark Brnovich, when you need him?)

Anyway, this “Chuck Huckelberry Loop”, or whatever its official name is ….is nothing short of an outrage.  In a fit of angry pique, the machistcitos on the Pima BOS just ran it up the flagpole to wave defiantly in everyone’s faces.   “Up your nose with a rubber hose, Gringos.”

Forget Huckelberry’s breathtakingly abysmal record on roads, family-wage jobs, hiring newspaper hacks as constables, etc., etc…. the man is like a cat, he always lands on his feet.

Moreover, his financial legerdemain is absolutely incredible.  Brings new meaning to the phrase, “watch my fingers, they never leave my hand”.  Bravo, Boss-Huck.

How else do you explain decades of keeping almost 40% of the Tucson’s Metro in the County, pitifully divided into 12-13 poorly maintained, unincorporated CDPs (census-designated-places), anyone of which could incorporate and have the money the County’s been stealing, errr… apportioning,  all these decades?   This has to be the oldest, continuously running hat-trick in Arizona political history.  Again, bravo Boss-Huck!

“With all this, Madame Chairwoman, I respectfully submit the name of Charles H. Huckelberry be entered into the competition for this year’s “Golden Barnacle Award”.

Sellers is a South Park Republican who lives in Oro Valley.  His background is federal tech-transfer commercialization.  Contact him at readbill19@usa.net


About Bill Sellers 22 Articles
Bill Sellers is a resident of southern Arizona. He is active in local politics.