From the “Crazy County Government” files in PimaLand.
In what has to be the most politically obsequious piece of boot-licking since Chamberlain gave Adolph Czechoslovakia, the angry wealth destroyers on the Pima County BOS voted in 2018 to give their ‘Master Minion’, Mr. Charles H. Huckelberry, his own Metro-Tucson bike loop.
That’s right, it’s his. Says so, right on the label.
Not bad, huh? Especially for a living, current Pima County employee, who is compensated more than 19X (nineteen times) the miserable per capita income of the City of Tucson. And he’s been at this 6-figure trough a long, long time, boys & girls…. 46 years to be accurate.
Who says you can’t get rich working as a local Arizona government employee? And those non-disclosed side deals & fringe benefits must be terrific; maybe we should ask Mossack-Fonseca? (all of this begs the question: where’s Arizona’s goofball Attorney General, the All-Slavic League’s nunchucks-whiz, Mark Brnovich, when you need him?)
Anyway, this “Chuck Huckelberry Loop”, or whatever its official name is ….is nothing short of an outrage. In a fit of angry pique, the machistcitos on the Pima BOS just ran it up the flagpole to wave defiantly in everyone’s faces. “Up your nose with a rubber hose, Gringos.”
Forget Huckelberry’s breathtakingly abysmal record on roads, family-wage jobs, hiring newspaper hacks as constables, etc., etc…. the man is like a cat, he always lands on his feet.
Moreover, his financial legerdemain is absolutely incredible. Brings new meaning to the phrase, “watch my fingers, they never leave my hand”. Bravo, Boss-Huck.
How else do you explain decades of keeping almost 40% of the Tucson’s Metro in the County, pitifully divided into 12-13 poorly maintained, unincorporated CDPs (census-designated-places), anyone of which could incorporate and have the money the County’s been stealing, errr… apportioning, all these decades? This has to be the oldest, continuously running hat-trick in Arizona political history. Again, bravo Boss-Huck!
“With all this, Madame Chairwoman, I respectfully submit the name of Charles H. Huckelberry be entered into the competition for this year’s “Golden Barnacle Award”.
Sellers is a South Park Republican who lives in Oro Valley. His background is federal tech-transfer commercialization. Contact him at email@example.com