It’s usually not advisable in politics or life to respond to juvenile behavior with juvenile behavior. But Democrats might want to reconsider this advice when it comes to Trump’s tantrums, peacocking, name-calling, and trolling.
That’s especially so with regard to his obsession over name changes, especially his latest unfunny comedy routine about changing “New Mexico” to “New America.”
The indented section below is a sidenote to those who want to engage in whataboutism and change the subject to the renaming and bloviating done by Democrats.
Yes, Democrats have renamed heterosexuals as cisgender; have engaged in racial discrimination under the euphemism of “diversity, equity and inclusion”; have said that Hispanics are minorities but Italians are not, although the former outnumber the latter by three to one; have claimed that canceling speakers for ideological reasons is the exercise of free speech; have demanded that sports teams change their name; have pressured the real estate industry into replacing the words “master bedroom” with the words “primary bedroom”; and have engaged in many other examples of newspeak.
Still, the renaming of states, countries and bodies of water takes it to the next level.
Alexandria Ocasio Cortez should respond accordingly. She should appear on TV, flash her disarming smile, and say that she supports the return of Mar-a-Lago to Spain, but only if Spain were to rename it Casa Loco, in recognition of Trump having lived there in the midst of his tacky Rococo décor.
To win the Italian vote, she also should start referring to America as Amerigo, in recognition of the fact that it is named after the Italian explorer Amerigo Vespucci.
Trump’s reaction would be predictable. In typical fashion, he’d double down and start renaming other places, thus infuriating residents of those places and resulting in even more independents and Republicans voting Democrat in the coming midterms.
For example, he would infuriate me if he were to say that he wants to rename my hometown of St. Louis because it was named after King Louis IX of France.
Come to think of it, Trump could have a renaming bonanza in the St. Louis area, given that so many streets and landmarks have French names.
Take River des Peres near my boyhood neighborhood. In circa 1700, it had originally been named “La Riviere des Peres”, or “The River of the Fathers,” by the Kaskaskia Indian tribe in honor of two French priests. It was turned into a sewage channel much later. No doubt, St. Louis Democrats would find it fitting to change the name to “The Sewer of Trump.”
Another candidate for renaming is New Madrid, Missouri, near the confluence of the Mississippi and Ohio rivers. It was named after the capital of Spain by Spaniards who had made it that far north. It could be called Magaville and featured in a song similar to Jimmy Buffet’s “Margaritaville.”
A state and a city farther south could also be renamed. The state is Louisiana, which was named after King Louis XIV of France. The city is New Orleans, which was named in honor of a French official, Prince Regent of France Philip II, Duke of Orleans.
Additionally, Trump’s hometown of New York could be renamed, since “York” refers to the British city of that name. Of course, New York had previously been named New Amsterdam, and many Dutch names can be found in the city, including Stuyvesant, which is the name of a former Dutch governor.
Virginians won’t like it, but their state could get a new name, too. After all, Virginia was named after Queen Elizabeth I, who was known as the Virgin Queen. That name was apparently okay with Thomas Jefferson, but Donald Trump is no Thomas Jefferson. Besides, Trump’s MAGA followers probably see Jefferson as a Republican in name only, or RINO.
There are enough renaming possibilities to keep Trump busy for the rest of his term and distracted from such issues as the Iran War, the Ukraine War, the price of gas, the price of housing, the cost of healthcare, rising inflation, the gargantuan national debt, the divided nation, and the splintering of NATO.
As Xi, Putin and Kim look on with glee, and as our allies look on with horror, Trump can text new names on Truth Social as he sits alone late at night at Rococo Casa Loco, like Jack Nicholson typing gibberish in the movie “The Shining.”
Mr. Cantoni is an author and freelance writer residing in Tucson under his real name. Contact: [email protected].
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