The Curious Case of the New Republic of Aridzona

A Modern Paraphrase of Mark Twain’s “The Curious Republic of Gondour"

After moving from California to Aridzona I became greatly interested in the people and the system of government in the territory of the devil’s playground — the place where, California’s unwilling and needle resisters, go to die.  To learn about the its history I had to understand the devil wanted a hot place on earth, a sort of summer home. So, he picked out Aridzona. Even the mascot of the state university in Tempe is epitomized by the image of a devil.

I studied voting systems and found that the nation had at first tried universal suffrage pure and simple but had thrown that form aside because the result was not satisfactory. It had seemed to deliver all power into the hands of the ignorant and non-tax-paying classes – Hillary Clinton’s “deplorables.”  As Mark Twain once quipped: “If voting made a difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.”

A remedy was sought. The Party of Government believed they had found it; not in the destruction of universal suffrage, but in the enlargement of it called by different names: “gerrymandering,” “ranked choice voting” and most of all “ballot harvesting.”  To offer to “limit” the suffrage might have made instant trouble; the offer to “enlarge” it had a pleasant aspect. Historically, the newspapers soon began to suspect and scrutinize the voting process.  But later the press joined forces with the new “modern suffrage movement” that no one who sustained themselves off government should be subject to the vote of those who mainly funded the government.  The vote had become a sinecure or newly created property right for sure.  Some called it the Deep State.

Ballot harvesting was an odd idea, and ingenious. You must understand, the constitution gave every man a vote, therefore that vote was a vested right, and could not be taken away. But the Constitution did not say that certain individuals might not be given two votes, or ten! So, amendatory clauses were inserted in a quiet way; a clause which authorized the enlargement of the suffrage in certain cases to be specified by statute. A method of winning an election whereby votes are discounted or reduced has always existed for various reasons: unsigned ballots, wrong addresses, no registration on file, dead voter and the infamous “hanging chads” of punch card ballots made famous by the Bush-Gore presidential election of 2000.  But the method of winning an election by “legally,” but not morally, adjusting the number of votes upward by ballot dumping in elections that stretch out over several days is a modern way for a candidate to get more harvested votes than otherwise.

Voting became a game of turnout, or shall we say “turn-in” (i.e., dumping), not actually voting to determine the majority will of the public.  This whole system could be eliminated by not using voting machines tied to computers, using paper ballots with no punch cards instead, no mail-in ballots and requiring all registered voters (or citizens) to vote on only one day or pay a fine.  But the Party of Government has a monopoly because they can manufacture reserve votes to be “dumped” at strategic times when their party has fallen behind in the vote count. Whereas the Party of Non-Government can only vote early and cannot play the game of catch up.  The Party of Government can assure that the votes for the Party of Non-Government can be picked up and counted first, thus allowing the Party of Government to “find” oodles of boxes of votes held in reserve to catch up in the vote count.  Under the Old System of elections, one had to steal but under the New System one could appear to win legitimately.

But before the election there were some things in Aridzona which one could not shut his eyes to. One was, that ignorance and incompetence in the government but the ingenuity at which the entrenched Party of Government ran elections. The candidate for governor could hide out from election debates and can hardly find words to discuss anything intelligently in an extemporaneous manner.  The best and the brightest did not gravitate to the Party of Government as elected officials.  As Mark Twain might say, a hod carrier could get elected governor but could scapegoat those in the Party of Non-Government as hogging the vote while the Party of Government pigged out on the spoils.

So, what happened during the mid-term “election season” of 2022 in mostly states controlled by the Party of Government is like that just happened in Aridzona where only 16.6 percent of the vote but somehow gained over 50% of the votes.

As Red Badger described the Aridzona vote on his website 100%FedUp on Nov. 15:

Monday the country was focused on what was happening in Arizona. Rather than being able to process their elections in a timely manner, the state took almost a week to declare a Democrat victory across the board.

According to Gateway Pundit, Pima County dumped another batch of election day ballots Monday that favored Katie Hobbs 58.08% to 41.95% for Kari Lake. But rather than the uncounted ballots decreasing after the dump, the total number of outstanding ballots increased. This election is being rigged and stolen, just like in 2020.

According to the Uplift Data tracking service, Republicans had 52.7% of the vote on election day. Democrats had 16.6% of the vote on election day in Maricopa county.

And yet, as the Maricopa county batch came in late Monday night, Americans are being asked to believe that Katie Hobbs took a high percentage of the votes in a conservative district despite a huge number of Independents requesting a Republican ballot.

On election day, 106,588k voters showed up to vote in person in Maricopa County. Of those, a record-breaking percentage voted for the GOP. In Arizona, about 34% of registered voters are Independents who can request either a Republican or Democrat ballot at the polls. In Tuesday’s Primary, 80.0% who voted in person selected a Republican Party ballot. Only 20% used the Democrat ballot. The charts below provided various details and was actually compiled by Democrat analysts at Uplift.

As the abnormal counting and ballot dump continued, Lake encouraged Arizona voters to make sure their voices were heard by confirming their ballot status. She said “Share this with every single person you know. Let’s Finish Strong.”

Democrat Gubernatorial nominee and Secretary of State Katie Hobbs was encouraged by both Republicans and Democrats to recuse herself from running the 2022 midterm elections as she was on the ballot. But, despite the apparent conflict of interest, she refused. It has also come to light that a top election official in Arizona is also a donor to a far-left ‘resistance group,’ causing further speculation on what might have occurred in Arizona.

It is being reported that Maricopa election officials launched a PAC in 2021 to stop Maga candidates. Lake responded by saying election officials should be impartial. But instead, “the guys running the elections have made it their mission to defeat America First Republicans. Unbelievable.”

On Sunday, Republican Nominee Kari Lake said, “we have election season.” She said that the outstanding ballots are coming from heavily Republican areas.

Arizona has had numerous issues; with 26% of the tabulating machines not working, 1/3 of the polling precincts that had either machines that were down or printers that had no toner or low toner in them, and people who had to put their ballot into “door 3” a place to store ballots, because the machines were not working. Then “door 3” ballots that were not counted yet were mixed with ballots that had been counted.

“We need to get in there and restore faith in our elections. We can’t be the laughingstock anymore, and when I’m Governor, I won’t allow it.”

By Monday Nov. 14, the victory of the Party of Government was nearly total across the board and complete.

Then there is the curious case of the timeliness of the US Supremes throwing out the “Constitutional” right to abortion right before the mid-term elections, galvanizing the vote of radical feminist women, which is to say all women who suffer from the guilt of abortion. Their handlers have learned how to channel their guilt into hate of men or of the inconvenience of giving birth when one wants to go on a vacation.  This is called psychological projection.  But what was it they had a “Constitutional Right” to?  A government subsidized free abortion?  And isn’t the current day issue of abortion mute because even after the Supremes decision to overthrow “Row-Vee-Wade,” a woman can still go to a doctor and get an abortion pill anyway, or a combination of an alternative cocktail that would do the same.  But what was curious was even those religious in the Party of Non-Government failed to point this out: that there is no need for “aborting” such a presumed right to abortion.  After all, there even was birth control.  But, according to press reports, the abortion issue boosted votes for the Party of Government.  Curious because of its timing and passage by justices appointed by the Party of Non-Government.

But Mark Twain was wrong when he wrote:

But in this country we have one great privilege which they don’t have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That’s the finest asset we’ve got — the ballot box. – interview in Boston Transcript, 6 November 1905.

The bottom line result of the mid-term election in 2022 in Aridzona is that a governor, US senator, attorney general and secretary of state were elected in Aridzona by about 17.4% of the population, and 30.4% of registered voters.  It’s no wonder that the Party of Government declared that the MAGA (Make America Great) Movement that Kari Lake, Blake Masters, Mark Finchem and Abe Hamadeh represented, were considered a threat to “democracy” and monopolization by the Party of Government.

Wayne Lusvardi resides in Sun City.