Driven to Cursing on a Tucson Road

The following incident took place in the Foothills of Tucson on Friday, December 13, at 6:45 a.m.

My wife and I were walking down Kolb Rd. near our house, at the end of our daily walk and litter pick-up. We had left the house 90 minutes earlier in the dark, carrying a flashlight and trash bags. Because there are no sidewalks, we were prepared, as always, to step off the shoulder and into the brush at the sight of a speeding car.

Cars traveling well in excess of the speed limit of 35 mph are a common sight, which explains the high incidence of serious accidents along the stretch, including a fatal motorcycle accident.

The two-lane road, which is designated a scenic roadway, is popular with pedestrians and cyclists, including tourists from the nearby Loews Resort. Apparently unaware of the danger, some pedestrians walk with their back to traffic.

On the morning in question, temporary caution signs and flashing lights warned that there was roadwork ahead, that a lane was closed, and that drivers should be prepared to stop. A burly worker was putting out directional signs and safety cones in advance of the seven o’clock start of the day’s work.

In typical fashion, a dude in a luxury SUV sped down the road, ignoring the warning signs and braking at the last moment. As he passed within a couple of feet of the worker, the worker screamed, “SLOW THE F**K DOWN! WHY THE F**K ARE YOU SPEEDING?

Although it wasn’t language that I would’ve used, I applauded the worker with a fist-pump. He responded, “What’s wrong with these people?”

I thought to myself: What’s wrong with them is that they are self-absorbed and don’t care about anything or anyone beyond the hood of their mobile cocoon.

The worker and his coworkers probably didn’t know that it was soon going to become even more dangerous. In about 45 minutes, crazed parents, made even crazier by the stress of Christmas shopping, would be driving their kids to the nearby elementary school, cutting in front of other cars, making illegal U-turns, and otherwise acting like jackasses in front of their kids. Heaven knows, their little darlings can’t ride the school bus with the hoi polloi.

Later that morning, while standing in our backyard, which overlooks Kolb, I saw a BMW zooming up the street and heading toward a worker holding a stop sign next to a stopped work truck with its lights flashing. At the last moment, the driver slammed on

the brakes. Using a word that rhymes with “pole,” the worker yelled to a coworker, “This ass**** must be blind or stupid.”

There was another possibility: Given the large number of liquor bottles and beer cans thrown on the roadside every day, the driver could have been buzzed.

You might be asking why my wife and I walk in the dark if drivers are buzzed. Three reasons: First, we get accustomed to doing so in the summer, in order to avoid the heat and damaging rays of the sun; second, it’s actually safer to walk before daybreak when traffic is light than later when traffic is heavy, as long as precautions are taken; and third, we prefer that no one sees us picking up litter.

Why don’t we want to be seen picking up litter? Because people look at us like we’re oddballs.

To that point, we’ve actually had strangers ask incredulously why we pick up litter. My response is to smile and say, “Because the county doesn’t.”

I don’t say the following, which is what I really think: When citizens don’t have civic pride, local government won’t have civic pride. And when local government doesn’t have civic pride, citizens won’t have civic pride.

One time, another walker saw us picking up litter and pointed to a dead rabbit in the middle of the road. In a smartass tone, he said, “You missed that.” I replied, “Thanks, but we don’t pick up dead animals.”

It’s tempting to respond to thoughtlessness with the word that rhymes with “pole,” but in the spirit of Christmas it’s better to smile and say, Ho, ho, ho!

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When he’s not dodging cars, Mr. Cantoni can be reached at craigcantoni@gmail.com.