University staff members across the country have been preparing to pivot to online classes since students returned to classrooms earlier this month. Some of the preparations are based on rumor, others are based on information shared by officials on the condition that the plans are to be kept confidential.
The plans, according to staff, are to lure students back to campus in order to make a quick buck on dormitory rentals, meal tickets, and in-person lesson fees. Once the deadline to drop classes without the possibility of receiving a refund passes, the universities will announce high rates of infections and send students home.
If the plans involved keeping secrets, they are already abysmal failures. Just last week, Wisconsin radio show host Jay Weber discussed the issue.
The plans could still work given the hysteria surrounding COVID-19.
Here’s how the plans, which vary by institution, were generally supposed to works:
- The “sky rocketing” positive case numbers will be released to ready and not-so-able media often several days or a week ahead of time
- The fear porn will be spread far and wide on social media
- Carefully choreographed outrage from “concerned” adults will spark fear in the hearts of parents and they will happily write off the costs incurred to date as lessons learned.
Students, who were forced to borrow the money to return to campus life , will be promised loan forgiveness that may never come.
Whether or not Arizona State University (ASU) had bought into a similar plan or not, staff privately shook their heads when Arizona State University President Michael Crow dropped a tweet on Friday announcing an increase in cases:
This is the latest update on @ASU‘s #COVID19 management strategy. It includes an overview of cases within our university community.
— Michael Crow (@michaelcrow) August 29, 2020
According to the University’s August 28 message:
As of August 27, our COVID-19 positive case count is as follows:
- 28 total known positives among 12,400 total faculty and staff, which is .2% confirmed positive among employees.
- 452 total known positives among our total campus immersion student body of 74,500, which is .6% confirmed positive among the student body.
- More than half of these positive cases reside off campus in the metropolitan Phoenix area. 205 (out of 9,645 living on the Tempe campus) are in isolation on the Tempe campus.
It is unfortunate the brain trust at this august institution of higher learning could not manage to correctly calculate the positivity rate, but the chances that they have accurately calculated how much money they will make – and how much liability they will avoid – by bringing students back to campus momentarily and sending them off are quite high.
The deadline to drop courses for ASU’s Fall Session, which started on August 20, is September 2.